for all the skcuf

will you love me, even with my dark side?

Everyone fucks up in in some parts of their lives. Be it once, twice or a few.
As I write this, I know my life is still in a frenzy. It's (sometimes really not) ok, 
I guess.

I know I am a person whose words can hurt others easily, without even intending to. 

2015 hasn't exactly been a great start honestly, but I am OK with that.
I have learnt to take things in my stride, possibly because of me being cautious all the time. but hey, don't everyone do that? They build walls to protect themselves to prevent themselves from getting scarred again, and I'm not an exception. 

Sometimes because you love something so much and after getting hurt, you don't want to try again. Because I am like this too.

But I guess the most important part after all this is not to resist the things that come/happen.
I may hate myself for things I didnt mean to do, and surrendering will  be hard.
Bad thoughts may come back to haunt. 
Let it be. Let it come and overwhelm you. Cry it out and take a break. 
Let the thoughts kill you once. Chide yourself and hate yourself maybe.

But of course you'll still have to live on, because I always believed in things happening for a reason all the time.
Let go of all the things you've disliked about yourself, because no one can love themselves so fully after a series of fuck-ups. You can think about the bad things you've done. But let go. Forgive.
People may have been let down by you. They may matter but the reason you're not going after them is probably because you've made yourself cold and hard so that they won't matter. But deep down you know they still do.

I've become a criminal of my own cold actions and I know I need to change. Somehow. Maybe I shouldn't keep asking:
Why certain things are like that, why I am like that, why people differ.


Rough happenings occur gives you tumultous, overwhelming feelings and sometimes you feel like you're drowning in it.
Surrender and let go.
Cuz afterawhile I realise they may not be so important after all.
When bonds are unbreakable, your heart will tell you so.

L